It seems like we welcomed the New Year of 2018 just yesterday, where has this year gone? We officially celebrated every 1st holiday with McKenzie, we have cried over hospital beds, we celebrated McKenzie’s first birthday, we have struggled to learn how to help McKenzie’s sensory, we celebrated McKenzie sitting up on her own, we have done so much.. in just one little year.
As we prepare for the year to come, I feel an obligation to reflect and close the year that’s just passed. The medical journey has consumed this year with emergency department visits, doctor appointments, hospital admissions, blood draws, IVIG infusions, urine caths, and so much more.
We recently returned home from McKenzie’s 10th admission, 5th in 2018 – this admission finally provided us with physical evidence and what we hope will be solutions for the future. McKenzie has been struggling for so long, for too long – and this admission will be the one that makes the difference.
This doesn’t change the 4 other admissions and countless appointments. This doesn’t change the endless days and sleepless nights. This doesn’t change the adrenaline state of mind we have lived in for the last 12 months, but it does give us hope and hope is something special needs parents hold tightly to their hearts. Hope is sometimes all we have as we endure countless dead-ends and empty solutions.
Last year, we entered 2018 with an ignorance that our “problems” were behind us and McKenzie would do all sorts of things. This year, we are just thankful. We are thankful for the strength our daughter has shown, we are thankful for the doctors who finally listened, we are thankful for the knowledge we have gained. We are thankful for our ignorance because we have learned to appreciate every “little” thing McKenzie does, we have learned to appreciate the good weeks, days and hours, we have learned not how to make our problems go away, but how to handle them better for ourselves and for our daughter.
I could go on for days, but as we welcome another new year – I am going to hold this post close and I am going to remember the “little” things that happen throughout the year because at the end of it all, it’s the little things that make our year whole.