I recently switched my blog to WordPress – while doing so, I briefly reviewed previous posts from the beginning of Our Journey. I have to admit, I never imagined we would be where we are today but I am so thankful we are.
Identifying as an individual seemed so hard! Enduring the teen years, understanding friends and relationships, love and broken hearts, styles and trends.. it seemed never ending.
Identifying as an adult was a challenge but much more cut and dry. Work, bills, a few friends and eventually a life-partner. Of course the years between these cut and dry challenges dragged on, but as I look back – they were simple.
Identifying as a Mom gives life a new meaning! I am no longer responsible for just the little things, I am no longer responsible for just myself – I am now responsible for a little human, a little human with special needs! The transition into parenthood was something I thought I prepared for until the day we brought McKenzie home. The first night, as she slept – I stared at her with millions of thoughts racing through my mind, the most memorable thought was “What have I done?” I mean, honestly – what was I thinking? I couldn’t do this! I didn’t know the first thing about being a Mom. But, the night eventually turned morning and as the days continued on, I learned.
I learned that being a Mom was more than keeping my child alive – I needed to build an identity as a Mom because my self-love would reflect on this little girl as she looks up to me for guidance in life. My self-worth would provide a road of what’s acceptable and she would follow that road for herself. My self-identity needed strength because she would depend on me for answers, direction, honesty and most of all – guidance.
It has taken 10 months, but here I sit – identified. I am a Mom, I don’t know everything but I know enough. I am able, I am willing, I will walk across water and fire to ensure my child has all she needs for a healthy, safe and rewarding environment. I love myself, I love my life. I am happy with my reflection and I sleep at night.
I identify as a person, I identify as a wife and above all else – I identify as McKenzie’s Mom.
Mom.. Wow, who would have thought?