It’s been a few weeks since we found out about the possibility of McKenzie having Down Syndrome; We have been quietly dealing with our thoughts and attempting to understand what exactly everything means. Today we had our first appointments regarding the possible diagnosis, however, it wasn’t at my OB’s office – it was with specialist at the local hospital. As we arrived, the nurse brought us into a small room down the hall – she explained options, possible results and offered further testing.
It’s hard to understand the information overload, the options available seemed unreal – abortion? at any time? that’s legal? More testing? Risks? .. this appointment wasn’t as I expected. We were ready for the ultrasound to begin, even under the circumstances of the ultrasound, we were excited to see our little girl.
The ultrasound was the first one we had since the doctor called. She was beautiful, she moves so much! She’s so active! Her nasal bone is perfect, her arms, legs, toes, fingers, weight, body is measuring perfect. Maybe this was all just a big false; then the doctor came in. While he reviewed all of her perfect measurements and results, he also announced the one image imperfection – her heart. I instantly became numb.
The appointment was full of information, too much information and not enough information. We weren’t 100% positive about the Down Syndrome but now we had a heart defect to worry about. Not only was I unaware of Down Syndrome, but had no clue heart defects were a common birth defect both in and outside of individuals with down syndrome. I have never felt so ignorant! This pregnancy has certainly become overwhelming, not in the manner I had always imagined – not even a little.