The beginning

Our First IUI

Earlier this afternoon we went for our first IUI insemination. The morning was difficult as I was unable to sleep much last night but when Nikki woke up she was beyond excited and this kept me from feeling anxious, she even took photos – so unlike her. I am thankful though, her high spirits kept me positive.

When we got to the doctors, we were relieved and calmed by the immediate support and advice we received from the nurses. As we waited in the room, Nikki couldn’t stop smiling and while I wanted to smile – I was afraid I may get sick from the uncontrollable nerves.

The doctor made his way into the room with a slight grin, he asked if we were ready and once positioned, the doctor and his assistant began the IUI. The room was full of high energy and even a little humor, the catheter was unbearable; so I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

I tried to remind myself of the information I had retrieved from other blogs over the last few weeks, one bit of advice was to imagine it working. So I took a few more deep breaths and eventually began to imagine the fertilization while continuously praying for a success. The IUI took about an hour, a total of one hour and we were on our way to endure the rest of the day and the dreadful two week wait.

As I understand, there isn’t a whole lot I can do now except keeping calm, stress free and positive. This seems easy and while this is our first IUI, it’s not our first two-week wait – I know within a few days I will start to ponder if it worked, if I have symptoms, If I feel pregnant. I will likely investigate google for every minor ache and twinge I may feel, I will research statistics over and over and go from being extremely confident to

completely insecure.  October 5th feels like years away. One would imagine two weeks is nothing compared to the months, and even years we’ve already waited- but this time it’s different, this time it’s with the doctors and everyone feels like it’s going to work but the truth is, it’s literally a 20% chance. I know I’m not infertile per say; I have some issues with my ovaries, yes but that doesn’t mean I’m unable to conceive; I’ve just not had any luck in doing so, thus far. Of course I’d like to say I feel pregnant, but how would I know what that even feels like? So, with a heavy mind and a tired heart, I’m ready for day one of fourteen days of hell.

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